Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
