so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
