Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
