I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
