dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
