My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
