Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
