sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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