I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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