i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
