Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize