with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
