Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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