Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
