sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
