so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
