I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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