you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
