I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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