Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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