Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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