It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
