Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
