Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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