My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
