I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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