I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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