there's paper in my vomit.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
