so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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