Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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