We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
