I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Shame - the story of my life.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
