I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
