i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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