at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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