You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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