Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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