do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
