Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
