before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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