I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
