Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
i think i just lost a toe
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
