Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
