I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
