you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
