i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
