Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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