At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize