I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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