Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Randomize
