Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
