There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My vagina just clenched in fear
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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