my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Randomize