shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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