Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
