Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
