No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
