how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
