you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
