soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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