Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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